Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 02/12/2015 at 4:52am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 May 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 609
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

icandothecancan's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:47am<b>jt6244</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:21pm<b>captain_nessness</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Swandive235</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:39pm<b>bahamit</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:05am<b>423</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:26am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:23am<b>alyalyoxenfree</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:17am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 4:09pm<b>denardo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:29am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:20pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:32am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:21am<b>bigbeefie</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:51am

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:39am<b>bahamit</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:05pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:48pm

icandothecancan's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of icandothecancan's badges

icandothecancan's favorite FMLs

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (6764)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by killme - United States (Georgia)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44398) - you deserved it (5879)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49811) - you deserved it (5246)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (57431)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (6324)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46080) - you deserved it (8730)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38042) - you deserved it (8820)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (51340)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (9152)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47789) - you deserved it (14994)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (35645)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: