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ibitehard

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ibitehard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1926
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ibitehard : Hai! ^_^ I'm Emily!
La la la~
Pm me if you wanna talk :3
If you're gonna hate, please do nothesitate to click on the X on the top right corner of your sceen, have a super day!

ibitehard's page activity

Visits<b>mahovalia</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:39pm<b>King_Nero</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:54am<b>imbeterthanu</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:43pm<b>blueeyesBEAUTY</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 5:57am<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:42am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>morningwood4521</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:25pm<b>lyssafred</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 6:23am<b>tylerdestroyer</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:29am<b>Kovu</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:17am<b>jamjam12</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:53pm<b>coburn1998</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:44am<b>afewdeadcows</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 8:27pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 8:43am<b>theenglishcat</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 6:32am

ibitehard's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ibitehard's badges

ibitehard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52359) - you deserved it (11852)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32134) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (34414)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (40861)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48431) - you deserved it (10103)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (5160)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (23716)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (3889) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (4263)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (26444)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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