ibitehard

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ibitehard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3145
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ibitehard : Hai! ^_^ I'm Emily!
La la la~
Pm me if you wanna talk :3
If you're gonna hate, please do nothesitate to click on the X on the top right corner of your sceen, have a super day!

ibitehard's page activity

Visits<b>kire1800</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:50pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 6:31am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:30am<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:30pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:14am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 3:06pm<b>AZTEC_WARRIOR</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Adalicious</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:26pm<b>BruhSRSLY</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:05am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:50pm<b>andrew1012</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:46pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:21pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:06pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:39pm<b>King_Nero</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:50pm

ibitehard's FML badges

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ibitehard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

by Gixie / 03/24/2013 at 11:56am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

by Brooke / 01/15/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

by marisa / 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

by Nutellalover / 10/19/2012 at 10:19am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

by goodeyesight / 10/11/2012 at 10:02am / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Love