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ibigda's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


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ibigda's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

by clashgurl8449 / 02/17/2011 at 3:08am / Health

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

by Sostupid / 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

by Username / 10/04/2010 at 1:48am / Kids

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

by Username / 02/22/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

by wtfuraretard / 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

by MisterBrown / 02/15/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 11:32am / United States (New York) / Love