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iamvanellope

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iamvanellope

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1320
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iamvanellope's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of iamvanellope's badges

iamvanellope's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (6404)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (4484)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (4559)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

#21402099
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm - love - by Confusedblonde - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (2785)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (2476)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (2327)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (42268)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95) - you deserved it (2575)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (29043)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (2509)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

#21359143
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2543)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Vercsi (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155) - you deserved it (31686)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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