iammeorami

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iammeorami

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2404
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About iammeorami : Sports, sports, and more sports.
Basketball soccer volleyball skiing snowboarding and biking

School might not seem fun to everyone but I am enjoying it knowing that one day I will be someone successful.

I am German Puerto Rican
dreams.

My name is Michael Scofield.

Do you think that people think more about money these days than about each other?

What do you think would happen if I discovered why the sky is blue?

Why are there so many questions in this world that don't have answers?

I don't know so you tell me.

It's a mystery waiting to be solved

I'm joking, this shit will never be solved.

iammeorami's page activity

Visits<b>hemiol</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 7:33am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>josh7279</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:59pm<b>brearayanne</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:51pm<b>quentinduhe</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:06pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:37pm<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:27pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:09am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>DragonText</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:57am<b>lizard96</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:42pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:53pm<b>redangel2011</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:34am<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:20am

iammeorami's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iammeorami's badges

iammeorami's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Love

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

by fuckit / 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm / Italy (Lazio) / Work

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

by whoops / 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation