Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iammeorami

Search for a member

iammeorami

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About iammeorami : Sports, sports, and more sports.
Basketball soccer volleyball skiing snowboarding and biking

School might not seem fun to everyone but I am enjoying it knowing that one day I will be someone successful.

I am German Puerto Rican
dreams.

My name is Michael Scofield.

Do you think that people think more about money these days than about each other?

What do you think would happen if I discovered why the sky is blue?

Why are there so many questions in this world that don't have answers?

I don't know so you tell me.

It's a mystery waiting to be solved

I'm joking, this shit will never be solved.

iammeorami's page activity

Visits<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:58pm<b>brearayanne</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>DragonText</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:57am<b>lizard96</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:42pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:53pm<b>redangel2011</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:34am<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:20am<b>ravimoli</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 3:49pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:41pm<b>elibel</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:27pm<b>BklynChick</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:49pm<b>coried91</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:07pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:48pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 11:50am

iammeorami's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iammeorami's badges

iammeorami's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56029) - you deserved it (9298)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (7590)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55801) - you deserved it (9000)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49117) - you deserved it (6446)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (23518)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46618) - you deserved it (5472)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (14082)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (2414)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (7588)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (8221)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54627) - you deserved it (14372)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42704) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (40349)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: