Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iammeorami

Search for a member

iammeorami

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About iammeorami : Sports, sports, and more sports.
Basketball soccer volleyball skiing snowboarding and biking

School might not seem fun to everyone but I am enjoying it knowing that one day I will be someone successful.

I am German Puerto Rican
dreams.

My name is Michael Scofield.

Do you think that people think more about money these days than about each other?

What do you think would happen if I discovered why the sky is blue?

Why are there so many questions in this world that don't have answers?

I don't know so you tell me.

It's a mystery waiting to be solved

I'm joking, this shit will never be solved.

iammeorami's page activity

Visits<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:27pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:09am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:58pm<b>brearayanne</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>DragonText</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:57am<b>lizard96</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:42pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:53pm<b>redangel2011</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:34am<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:20am<b>ravimoli</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 3:49pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:41pm<b>elibel</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:27pm<b>BklynChick</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:49pm<b>coried91</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:07pm

iammeorami's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iammeorami's badges

iammeorami's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (9288)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (5050)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40102) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (4435)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (3939)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37302) - you deserved it (5201)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (38739)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61223) - you deserved it (25710)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56714) - you deserved it (36410)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48741) - you deserved it (6372)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50118) - you deserved it (33797)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (43550)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: