About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (24132)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (1196)
On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21922) - you deserved it (1603)
On 05/09/2012 at 10:40am - misc - by calidreaming - Japan (Osaka)
Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (19029) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (2061)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (3805)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (2558)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (7466)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37429) - you deserved it (6764)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (3022)
On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14207) - you deserved it (3223)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24463) - you deserved it (3004)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24510) - you deserved it (2861)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (1272)
On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16187) - you deserved it (5477)
On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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