About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Danny / 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML
by Broke / 05/28/2012 at 5:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
by MySummerinEurope / 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy
by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Health
by Fire0fisis / 05/23/2012 at 5:38am / Hong Kong / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
by ordinaryday / 05/22/2012 at 8:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Rick / 05/22/2012 at 7:02am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy