About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12971) - you deserved it (3382)
On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (2054)
On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3492) - you deserved it (19010)
On 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25560) - you deserved it (6301)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5455) - you deserved it (15431)
On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16421) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17070) - you deserved it (1834)
On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (7011)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (1916)
On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18069) - you deserved it (2908)
On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (4402)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (2772)
On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)
Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (26403)
On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18963) - you deserved it (1948)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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