About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (8921)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3867)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (28254)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527568) - you deserved it (37907)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (1440)
On 02/05/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by CB4 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51627) - you deserved it (1983)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (7510)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (931)
On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)
Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (28988)
On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (3627)
On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I was woken out of my drunken state by a guy trying to stick his penis in my mouth. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (4246)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4365) - you deserved it (15036)
On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (1067)
On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16925) - you deserved it (2773)
On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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