Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iamabamf

Search for a member

iamabamf

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5840
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>hellalegit</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:03pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:17pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:50pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:56pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>94cobain</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:32pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:13am<b>Zerizle</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:50pm<b>sprechensiedick</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:21pm<b>kelxdao</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:02am<b>hoothootbi</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:04am<b>jml7999</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gamerkz</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:18am

Liked!<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

iamabamf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iamabamf's badges

iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (69448)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10893) - you deserved it (51887)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139588) - you deserved it (6374)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (87705)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54154) - you deserved it (3950)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61674) - you deserved it (10302)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37293) - you deserved it (83028)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

#190335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43169) - you deserved it (6870)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58172) - you deserved it (10086)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (64147)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (256203) - you deserved it (59987)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (25335)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71332) - you deserved it (18599)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: