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iamabamf

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iamabamf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5514
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10835) - you deserved it (69390)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (51858)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139243) - you deserved it (6365)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (87641)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54120) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61602) - you deserved it (10288)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (82955)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

#190335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (6867)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58112) - you deserved it (10084)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (64097)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (254797) - you deserved it (59882)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (25183)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70242) - you deserved it (18374)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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