About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44294) - you deserved it (16222)
On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (122303) - you deserved it (4848)
On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you deserved it (53736)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46013) - you deserved it (14325)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54452) - you deserved it (17834)
On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73360) - you deserved it (6084)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131658) - you deserved it (18243)
On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (60199)
On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67114) - you deserved it (32707)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (20417)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12794) - you deserved it (89071)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (58550)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8669) - you deserved it (43149)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115654) - you deserved it (4219)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462203) - you deserved it (574140)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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