About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (100891)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56598) - you deserved it (6650)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53252) - you deserved it (26184)
On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54075) - you deserved it (4476)
On 03/31/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by jkl54 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (54620)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (15006)
On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (65110)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5234)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (60503)
On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (8862)
On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54281) - you deserved it (25146)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (66107)
On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55529) - you deserved it (7682)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83728) - you deserved it (23711)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73334) - you deserved it (24474)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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