About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (24921)
On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21647) - you deserved it (1446)
On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (1432)
On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (5848)
On 06/02/2012 at 12:55pm - love - by Norwegian (man) - Norway
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (24120)
On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (8472)
On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (1759)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12970) - you deserved it (8920)
On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14694) - you deserved it (26577)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (2028)
On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (6408)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16183) - you deserved it (3747)
On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (1743)
On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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