iamabamf

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iamabamf

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11695
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:48am<b>LAS11</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13am<b>Swarley4</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:18pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:18am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:07am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:45am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 11:43pm<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>saidaswear</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:36pm<b>aishhaaa_</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:52pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:10pm<b>LeChef</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:40pm<b>PHP</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:18pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:59am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:35pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:15pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>everton99</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:12am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:23pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML

by JessBaby / 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

by H-B / 04/28/2009 at 4:53am / United States / Love

Today, I ran into a girl I used to go to school with. We went out for dinner to catch up, and we ended up at my house, watching movies and cuddling. This fantastic and spontaneous date was concluded with several kisses. I dropped her off at her car and drove off. I forgot to get her number. FML

by PIRATE_ / 04/27/2009 at 3:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML

by frenchgirlll / 04/27/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

by jimboxo / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, While I was running around the block I had this urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

by djteller / 04/24/2009 at 8:13pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

by JohnFarrell / 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy