iamabamf

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iamabamf

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11704
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:48am<b>LAS11</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13am<b>Swarley4</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:18pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:18am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:07am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:45am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 11:43pm<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>saidaswear</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:36pm<b>aishhaaa_</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:52pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:10pm<b>LeChef</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:40pm<b>PHP</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:18pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:59am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:35pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:15pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>everton99</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:12am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:23pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

iamabamf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

by bronzemedal97 / 06/15/2009 at 7:40am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

by locksmack / 06/14/2009 at 8:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

by older / 06/10/2009 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

by BW / 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

by arrestedgun / 05/23/2009 at 3:37am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

by your_mother / 05/13/2009 at 11:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

by nojob / 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

by mikesok988 / 05/07/2009 at 3:40am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

by soldier / 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Love