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iamabamf

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iamabamf

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5643
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:17pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:50pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:56pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>94cobain</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:32pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:13am<b>Zerizle</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:50pm<b>sprechensiedick</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:21pm<b>kelxdao</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:02am<b>hoothootbi</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:04am<b>jml7999</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gamerkz</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:18am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:08am<b>Da_Bozz</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:57pm

Liked!<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

#2907307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (2733)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (53439)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you deserved it (4376)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

#2765293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (2358)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72487) - you deserved it (5646)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47460) - you deserved it (11591)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63155) - you deserved it (2477)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (21304)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

#2204449
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17766) - you deserved it (52759)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17226) - you deserved it (122748)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (78301)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

#1719751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (3889)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

#1711398
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (4258)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by mikesok988 (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98938) - you deserved it (22720)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

#1679798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (9597)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)



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