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iamabamf

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iamabamf
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3994
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML

#3790073
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6202) - you deserved it (54491)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

#3730184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (12967)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

#3708472
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (10749)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by zombielover1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

#3685752
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (9891)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (7512)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

#3666100
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (7560)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (63474)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (21102)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (19623)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (16106)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63027) - you deserved it (37025)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36260) - you deserved it (4527)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

#2949089
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9828) - you deserved it (31754)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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