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iamabamf

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iamabamf
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3994
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

#4803927
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (55388)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

#4779323
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (16025)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (16591)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (62168)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107776) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39801) - you deserved it (15650)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63500) - you deserved it (9579)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63500) - you deserved it (9579)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55098) - you deserved it (9620)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16335) - you deserved it (31559)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

#4397930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (33933)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by broke_otaku (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (34784)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (16127)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50407) - you deserved it (26091)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

#3904309
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70348) - you deserved it (3494)

On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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