About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92961) - you deserved it (6034)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (12615)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60716) - you deserved it (8175)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60716) - you deserved it (8175)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (7739)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (31075)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8227) - you deserved it (33458)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by broke_otaku (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (34362)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (13065)
On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (21889)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63736) - you deserved it (2650)
On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (2003)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (2810)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by et510 (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5576) - you deserved it (44657)
On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (10412)
On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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