About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (4038)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11561) - you deserved it (12824)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4849) - you deserved it (39678)
On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (1962)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)
Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (2047)
On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15737) - you deserved it (34762)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (5072)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (1857)
On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5640) - you deserved it (44570)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (36763)
On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46509) - you deserved it (7584)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (4197)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (30067)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (5186)
On 09/17/2009 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by RahiYeah09 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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