About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML
by dasnich / 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by soawkward / 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
by Dooh / 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by flowerman / 12/26/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Love
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Shelly / 12/14/2011 at 12:18am / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…