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iamabamf

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iamabamf
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3928
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (3980)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (10453)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

#19277377
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12737) - you deserved it (27029)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (7020)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12281) - you deserved it (46541)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (2644)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35889) - you deserved it (24926)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35889) - you deserved it (24926)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (6641)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (3028)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71941)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (5306)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -



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