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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13777
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

Visits<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 12:52pm<b>chrisfromCanada</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 2:43pm<b>Nick_Pat91</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 1:06pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:47am<b>Kayouri</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 3:02am<b>Azlarus</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 2:09am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 10:47pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 5:41am<b>Chris2daO</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Maddii1112</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:20am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:39pm<b>jewbacca188</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:36am<b>db32</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:01pm<b>SubaruWRXSTI</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:48am<b>LAS11</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13am<b>Swarley4</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:18pm

Fucked!<b>youngmessi252525</b> - yesterday at 6:52pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 6:47am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:15pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:46pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>everton99</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:12am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:23pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:17am

iamabamf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iamabamf's badges

iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

by yikes / 04/21/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Animals

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

by metalwolf / 04/20/2012 at 4:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 12:46am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

by Rebecca / 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy