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iamabamf

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iamabamf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5146
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.

iamabamf's page activity

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iamabamf's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (31427)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (3488)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (3488)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (1701)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (3400)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (9106)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16937) - you deserved it (4022)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (5839)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9290) - you deserved it (17829)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (3840)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (6592)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

#19478625
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (1721)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (36687)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada



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