About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 2:01pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
by Jaclk / 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
by Dave / 04/23/2012 at 9:22am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by jack / 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my…