About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by kdehshaden / 04/30/2012 at 4:25am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
by -insert clever nickname here- / 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Matt / 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by mark807 / 04/28/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
- Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off.… Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity,… Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to…