About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2961)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17065) - you deserved it (2321)
On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (2171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (1114)
On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11319) - you deserved it (19606)
On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6214) - you deserved it (34261)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (3472)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (1889)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6184) - you deserved it (14940)
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (1362)
Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (24492)
On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States
Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/27/2012 at 6:32am - work - by Wubba87 (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16787) - you deserved it (8204)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7015) - you deserved it (22700)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (31845)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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