About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
by mustanggt / 07/10/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/10/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
by notestojenn / 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 10:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Misky / 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm / Miscellaneous
by sierra / 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm / United States / Love
by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…