About iamabamf : Everything I do is motherfucking awesome.
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Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53748) - you deserved it (7634)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37998) - you deserved it (2046)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15965) - you deserved it (5037)
On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (1666)
On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14442) - you deserved it (1556)
On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (1294)
On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (1332)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (2974)
On 07/18/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16010) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (1935)
On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15147) - you deserved it (4174)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5185) - you deserved it (22476)
On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16795) - you deserved it (6242)
On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (31262)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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