About iamabamf : Why can't I change my username? Fuck.
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iamabamf's favorite FMLs
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by the_lonely_life / 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
by jake / 08/12/2012 at 11:49am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by CantBlink / 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
- Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating… Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get… Today, I discovered I have dandruff, which I never had before. I googled the possible reasons and…
- Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, I laid out an exercise and diet plan for the rest of the year. Today was also the day a guy… Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday…