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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13866
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

#5392687
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (2433)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (10302)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46474) - you deserved it (7006)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (8547)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (8547)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (30900)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (5506)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (3380)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (7489)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

#5285675
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8998) - you deserved it (32056)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (5811)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42962) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (2729)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (15682)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (44103)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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