Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14034
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

i_wuz_nver_here's last visitors

FedergirlHorsempegswick25lil_ham1644logan1423MetalManiacHappyking_of_LAladystatemeb123hazelthe_zero_articleLarissa24

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12062) - you deserved it (35150)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

#6508177
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (8531)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

#6508177
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (8531)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (8079)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (7314)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (45252)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (44886)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (7251)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

#6403187
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (3799)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Cerezo (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: