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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13802
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (5408)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (2278)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16009) - you deserved it (3459)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18408) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (1626)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (1626)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (8745)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

#8099934
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (20229)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17082) - you deserved it (5708)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML

#8078249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3971) - you deserved it (48799)

On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (22613)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40477) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6645) - you deserved it (57260)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)



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