Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13802
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

i_wuz_nver_here's last visitors

swick25lil_ham1644logan1423MetalManiacHappyking_of_LAladystatemeb123hazelthe_zero_articleLarissa24cnparks1990Naomietje

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (31114)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (31114)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

#10717773
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (32260)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by THANKS4theINFO (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

#10696797
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (38799)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

#10017161
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (4387)

On 04/20/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by uglyorstupid (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (7704)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (7704)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

#9351923
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/24/2010 at 11:00am - intimacy - by suckstobeme - United States

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

#9327043
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (3631)

On 03/23/2010 at 10:51am - intimacy - by BadtoWorse (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47333) - you deserved it (1945)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: