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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13794
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (33834)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (6301)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (2258)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (3269)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14030) - you deserved it (31579)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44706) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

#13467728
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (5051)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by princessj - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

#13442740
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by tman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

#13415492
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)



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