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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13868
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

#14306986
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (6868)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by David H. -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (11728)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37394) - you deserved it (4363)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37394) - you deserved it (4363)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (4527)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1824)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22833) - you deserved it (8074)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12945) - you deserved it (21799)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52470) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16207) - you deserved it (27553)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

#14009282
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (3205)

On 11/28/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13668) - you deserved it (37405)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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