Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13783
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

i_wuz_nver_here's last visitors

lil_ham1644logan1423MetalManiacHappyking_of_LAladystatemeb123hazelthe_zero_articleLarissa24cnparks1990Naomietje

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67078) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67078) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (2452)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (3875)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (4160)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (3809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (17633)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (17633)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (17633)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (17633)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

#14709576
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (5805)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by CLH (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

#14709189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30249) - you deserved it (10638)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

#14708501
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5916) - you deserved it (34488)

On 01/25/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by jroberts -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: