Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13828
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

i_wuz_nver_here's last visitors

swick25lil_ham1644logan1423MetalManiacHappyking_of_LAladystatemeb123hazelthe_zero_articleLarissa24cnparks1990Naomietje

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (44634)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (54996)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (36801)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111881) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9696) - you deserved it (31991)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52568) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52568) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (51431)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

#14847206
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8858) - you deserved it (21450)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: