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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13884
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (17747)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (30506)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

#15237271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31319) - you deserved it (4758)

On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

#15231026
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (11532)

On 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm - misc - by chelsea -

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (3890)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49293) - you deserved it (4172) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (11886)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

#15170872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (2036)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:22am - work - by AntiBobTheBuilder (woman) - United States (California)



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