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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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i_found_bob

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i_found_bob
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About i_found_bob : Meep.

"I'll throw you in the boiling water and see if you can swim. " -My Art Teacher

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i_found_bob's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

#3428912 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (56914) - you deserved it (1681)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (5410) - you deserved it (32712)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (47140) - you deserved it (1950)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writting a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him, I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard, and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

#3241912 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (45159) - you deserved it (6633)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by hatesurf (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

#3237378 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (79685) - you deserved it (6389)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865 (454)

I agree, your life sucks (51844) - you deserved it (26223)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when hes drunk. FML

#3171611 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (3590)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

#3145872 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (5992) - you deserved it (40987)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, there was a a huge storm. There were no buses so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore and this makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

#2314963 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (2210)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (98469)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML

#1933415 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (35383) - you deserved it (10896)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (70675) - you deserved it (6121)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (114327)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (220486)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)