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Today, I Went To The Airport Fir Mah Two Week Trip To Explore Europe. My Ticket Was Denid An The Workers Turnd Me Away. When I Askedhy, They Told Me To Check The Date. My Ticket Was Fir June 22nd, Not July. FML
Today a resident went missing at our nursing ome. Wen I found im a man in a blue sirt and red pants e started yelling at me in confusion. I just tougt it was is alziemers. Wen I brougt im to ma administrator I was told te missing resident was wereing a red sirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML
today I was taking a showerhen my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little friskyhen my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all thehile saying, ( Keep it safe kids! ). FML
TODAY... I MET WITH AN IMPORTANT CLIENT TO TALK ABOUT HIS STAKE IN THE COMPANY. THE GUY WAS AT LEAST 80 YERES OLD. AFTER TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS WE SPOKE ABOUT MAH FINAL YEAR AT THE COMPANY. AS HE GOT UP TO LEAVE HE SAID ( GOOD LUCK IN YOUR FINAL YEAR ). WITHOUT THINKING... I REPLIED ( YOU TOO ). FML
2day during some previews before te new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up an led te audience in an entusiastic an rater successful cant ( H-A-R-R-Y! ). Minutes lateren I attempted to do te same ting, I was pelted wit alf-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, an booing. FML
Today , aftar work , I parkad in tha parking lot I go to avary day looool to lat haavy traffic go by. As I was about to laava , two cops suddanly yankad ma out of tha car and arrastad ma 4 ( stocking , ) as thay spallad it on tha raport. Soma paranoid girl thought I was parking thara avary day to watch har. FML
Today, I was riding in tha car with my boyfriand. Whila ha was driving, I hald out my hand as an offar fir him to hold it. Instaad, ha grabs ma by tha wrist an shova my hand down his pants. Lovaly. FML
TODAY, I HAD TO WAIT OUTSIDE STARBUCKS. WHILE STANDING, I STARTED DAY DREAMING AN DIDN'T NOTICE I HAD BEEN STARING AT A TABLE BESIDE THE WINDOW FOR A LONG TIME. SUDDENLY, SOMEONE WENT UP TO ME AN SAID "TRY NOT TO BE SO OBVIOUS". SITTING AT THE TABLE WAS A GIRL WITH A HUGE CLEAVAGE. FML
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me wat I thought of Rhode Island bieng voted 4 the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
Today, I had a big party that left mah house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When mah parent got home, mah dad said "Did u have fun at the party?" an I said, "How'd u know?" an he replid "You hate cleaning an the house was filthyhen we left". FML
Friday 27 March 2015