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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54928) - you deserved it (3088)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:42am - misc - by oshitdonotwant (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78464) - you deserved it (18449)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11970) - you deserved it (25543)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (4968)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (33982)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (12170)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39543) - you deserved it (3060)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49656) - you deserved it (13468)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (3401)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (2986)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was riding my motorcycle. Suddenly, I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. As a sign of anger, I spat my gum towards her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into the bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9000) - you deserved it (52097)
On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8726) - you deserved it (56053)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55135) - you deserved it (2325)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50865) - you deserved it (21110)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (7673)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:13am - work - by published_anthropologist (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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