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Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (2835) - you totally deserved it (8029)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15569) - you totally deserved it (1344)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you totally deserved it (3137)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2954) - you totally deserved it (26886)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you totally deserved it (1217)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)
Today, my old highschool math teacher called me asking if I would please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she is drunk, and declare her eternal love to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you totally deserved it (2266)
On 10/23/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you totally deserved it (24764)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18259) - you totally deserved it (3776)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34704) - you totally deserved it (1918)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you totally deserved it (4040)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4170) - you totally deserved it (24005)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you totally deserved it (1525)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you totally deserved it (2060)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by omfgmaya - Denmark (Vestsjalland)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you totally deserved it (2776) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. At school I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4832) - you totally deserved it (21976) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
