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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (7668)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (16322)
On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (2635)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15459) - you deserved it (2311)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (2042)
On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salt and water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (5580)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (8574)
On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (3120)
On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (25156)
On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (3390)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (2192)
On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (14079)
On 04/18/2011 at 12:53am - love - by HFCS (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (2669)
On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44574) - you deserved it (3088)
On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (3047)
On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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