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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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iPhanny

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iPhanny
  • Town/Country : Wichita, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 December 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 52628
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iPhanny : Teh name's Christine.
I'm speechless.

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iPhanny's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, "Liked" this. FML

#4443925 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (14537)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (37804) - you deserved it (5758)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (56564) - you deserved it (4518)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (62455)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML

#2398327 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (5047)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:59am - money - by alynn (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (55468) - you deserved it (5489)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (53131) - you deserved it (2396)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (47575) - you deserved it (16514)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (14040)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (37871)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

#1971968 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (2458)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (47265) - you deserved it (2244)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (1811)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)



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