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iOceanus

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iOceanus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2597
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:56pm<b>DeadlySyrup</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:10am<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:05pm<b>karmaliss</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:35am<b>reburkah</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:46pm<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:57am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:55pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:57am<b>Googolman</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:17am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:21pm<b>bigmike25</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:46pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Foto_1</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:11pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:45pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:21pm

iOceanus's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (5366)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (6568)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (35330)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (15709)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49561) - you deserved it (24497)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (59996)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38554) - you deserved it (15735)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (2864)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (3251)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (32732)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55859) - you deserved it (14654)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

#20532270
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35352) - you deserved it (4922)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (9871)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (5407)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States



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