iOceanus

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Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 5:25pm)

iOceanus

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4568
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>sadblufly</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:47pm<b>IFearMyDoctor</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:25am<b>SSJ4Asterisk</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:16pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:16am<b>collector12334</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:35am<b>llamadramas</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:33am<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:32pm<b>APHPrussia</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:30pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:25pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:01am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:50pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:43pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:59pm<b>monkey8970</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:55pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:57am

Fucked!<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 7:48pm<b>SSJ4Asterisk</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 1:16am<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:58am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:28am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:33am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:56pm

iOceanus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck / 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.