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iOceanus

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iOceanus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2166
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>Foto_1</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:11pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:45pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:21pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:15pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:58pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:07pm<b>harlz31</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:19pm<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:31am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:03pm<b>forevralone</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:10pm<b>lovefrog</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:36am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:56am<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:25am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:05am

iOceanus's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53205) - you deserved it (6513)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47211) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47785) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79518) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55155) - you deserved it (7873)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60563) - you deserved it (20232)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (7997)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52278) - you deserved it (12008)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (6074)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (51067)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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