iOceanus

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Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 5:25pm)

iOceanus

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4943
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>Allornone</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 12:46pm<b>sadblufly</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:47pm<b>IFearMyDoctor</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:25am<b>SSJ4Asterisk</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:16pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:16am<b>collector12334</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:35am<b>llamadramas</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:33am<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:32pm<b>APHPrussia</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:30pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:25pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:01am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:50pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:43pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:59pm<b>monkey8970</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm

Fucked!<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 7:48pm<b>SSJ4Asterisk</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 1:16am<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:58am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:28am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:33am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:56pm

iOceanus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of iOceanus's badges

iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

by gassymomma / 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

by now have a cat / 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy