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iOceanus

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iOceanus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2324
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About iOceanus : I enjoy reading manga, watching anime, and playing video games. Otaku and proud! ^_^☆ Send me a message, and I'll entertain you! I'll talk about anything, really. :P Although, I'm usually lurking on FML at night! Sayonara mina-san!
( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
-Anonymous

You reap what you sow. -Many people

Do or do not, there is no try. -Master Yoda

True freedom lies within ones thoughts.
-Anonymous

iOceanus's page activity

Visits<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Foto_1</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:11pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:45pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:21pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:15pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:58pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:07pm<b>harlz31</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:19pm<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:31am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:03pm<b>forevralone</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:10pm<b>lovefrog</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:36am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:56am<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:25am

iOceanus's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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iOceanus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56908) - you deserved it (4377)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (9235)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54522) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (9921)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46402) - you deserved it (6407)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (14236)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50874) - you deserved it (6741)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52535) - you deserved it (7352)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (7540)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42702) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42702) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (12292)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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