iLoveCookiezz

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iLoveCookiezz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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iLoveCookiezz's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:20am<b>jonathan896</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:22pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:26am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:53am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 1:38pm<b>Dipmunch</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:35pm<b>apu_nahasapeemap</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:50pm<b>DontClickOnMe</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 9:47pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 7:12pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:38pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:21pm<b>aishia88</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 2:51pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 4:37pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 4:28pm<b>sevans9793</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:13pm<b>ronzilla</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 6:25pm<b>bucbasher21</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:29am

iLoveCookiezz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of iLoveCookiezz's badges

iLoveCookiezz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

by Nice Melons / 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm / United States / Work

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

by breeeeeh / 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous