Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About iLOLatURpain69 : Eminemchick... You out there? Kik me : STRANGEMUSIC
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Friday 19 September 2014