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Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (9907)
On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (21890)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143474) - you deserved it (25695)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177980) - you deserved it (61475)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (39978)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (4821)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (13327)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4942) - you deserved it (32284)
On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (6922)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50182) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (1381)
On 01/22/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (55711)
On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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