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About iFizzgig : I'm Lila, I'm a musician, I'm on here to find laughter when I'm on a break at work. I'll post quotes on here every now and then.
The importance of commas:
"Let's eat grandpa."
"Let's eat, grandpa.
"Careful who you're calling a child. 'Cause if I'm a child then that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I am gonna be lectured by a pervert!"
"Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level"
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Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Friday 27 November 2015