iFRUiTTART

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iFRUiTTART

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11063
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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iFRUiTTART's page activity

Visits<b>kimeatszombies</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:05am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 4:04pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 7:46am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:58am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 10:46pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 4:47pm

iFRUiTTART's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iFRUiTTART's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

by armybrat / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

by sadlife / 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

by Fattypatty / 07/09/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

by coral / 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

by dumpedovergame / 07/06/2009 at 6:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

by SwordFish8 / 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

by BrokenHearted / 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

by Peta2nNoMore / 07/04/2009 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids